A 30 minutes lemongrass teatime with myself

It has been a long while for myself to sit down like the time I had back in UK, make myself a cup of tea, to write or to reflect or to do nothing.

To be honest, I feel like every day I am rushing to get a lot of things done with no purpose. Most of them I take them as "responsibility", yet I couldn't really enjoy the time working on each of the task.

What is the problem?

1. Myself

2. Space

3. Time Management

4. Priority

5. Occupied by technology

6. No time management and self-discipline

__________________________________________________________________

I would like to slow things down, slow myself down and slow my thoughts down.

Everything just go through my brain without really digesting them. Every task was tackled one by one without the time to enjoy the outcome or to think or reflect. I just keep going keep walking but I am not happy.

It makes me can't even digest God's word as I have get used to the pace of my Hong Kong life while I know this should not be the way it works.

Couldn't believe I have been rushing and working at my 2nd workplace for 9 months now. Time really flies but I don't want to live in this pattern anymore.

Fatherpapa, guide me through and lead me to the place you can grant me peace.

I trust you.

Sense of belonging

Boyfriend has just safely arrived London.

I have spent my whole Sunday at home, on bed, taking rest inside out, have a few thoughts and plan in my mind. 

To be very honest, I didn't expect that my heart has changed in this way - Hong Kong is no longer a place that I could live peacefully and be 100% of myself now. Probably there's no change in Hong Kong, just my mentality and my exposure granted me this feeling and thought. 

In the past year, working and adapting everything in Hong Kong. I rarely could find a moment, a place, a space to quite myself down and to think or tackle problem one by one. Everything is so rush that I don't feel like "living" but "to stay alive". I really hate this, but this has been lasting for over a year already and it could last for a lifetime if i did nothing with this lifestyle. 

There are risks to make the decision of going back and have a new life there back in UK. However, I feel like it's worth to take the chance. Let me tidy my thought out: 

1. Life is too short to settle down in a place that keep draining our soul, body and thought

2. Hong Kong is such a busy place that my heart can never be at peace, which is one of my core in life

3.

Wrote on 17 Sept 2018

Fatherpapa I lift this to you

1. Holy Spirit to remind me to put God first
2. Family bonding - brother life in Aus
3. Relationship with Adrian

I could definitely imagine that if there's only one reason affect my decision of leaving Hong Kong and stay in UK for good with Adrian is that I have to leave my parents in Hong Kong.

I regret that I didn't treat them as good as they deserve to be treated - they are the best parents on earth no matter what they have done.

In my break week, before start working in Sinclair, I could deeply feel the pain of not spending enough time with them and talk with them. I would like to spend less time with myself and more with them. I would like to get into their world and not letting any regrets exist between us.

Every time when I look at them, no matter they are sleeping on the sofa, cooking in the kitchen, arguing on some minor stuffs, coming back home after work but serving me and brother, putting us beyond them - I can only see LOVE. Tears just can't hold and I realised I have to put it in my prayer that the wall between us could break and we could be closer and closer like me and Adrian, day by day.

Daddy, thank you for reminding me that I could put anything in my prayers and you will make it happen.

I will continuously pray for it till the end of the day. Amen.

Fri 16 Feb 03:08 (oh yes, I failed to manage to sleep early again. But I will try again tomorrow. Night night world and my loves)

Young Adulthood - Time Management

Wed 14 Feb 03:17

It's the second day of my official holiday, but I got a call from my AD this morning, saying that they need human power to help on the Art Central and BMW account, so next Wednesday would be my first day working in Sinclair. 

Okay.

At mid-night, when I was lying on the sofa as usual trying to enjoy my me-time. I realised I have to stop managing my time in this way. 

Yes, it's so comfy to spend it in a way that I have no concern and I could just lie on the sofa till 4am. But hey, I am the one who will bear the responsibility as well. To be honest, I am not like enjoying it in a quality way but just, yea, it's easy to let myself live in this way. 

I think it's the disciplinary kellychan talking to me - it's time to stop living in this way and wasting my time when I should be in bed already. I know that I could manage my time in a much better way that can enhance my working ability. 

One of the thing that I appreciate holam is that he is very self-discipline (even when he said he is not). He is much discipline than me. Actually sometimes the stress is come from myself because of my time management skills is quite shit. However, I expect myself to do my best on each task - so I decided to sacrifice my sleeping time. But well, we all know it doesn't work in this way. 

It's like a worm tickling in my heart. I have to overcome this habit!!!!!!

Be uncomfortable till you make it kellychan.

Wed 14 Feb 03:25

I would like to spend 15 mins to record this today

Mon 12 Feb 11:45

It's my first Monday after quitting Hoffman. However, my work has not yet stopped a bit due to the Sinclair interview at late afternoon today.

Re-called to the conversation with Nicol yesterday at Taikoo, he reminded me how blessed I am when talking about his friends around him finding job but not succeed.

He mentioned that I am the only friend who could get into the industry I am fancy of and met tons of genuine people and colleagues in the past 6 months.

And then I realised, oh right. From the time I just randomly inbox Rose and asked her about working in Hoffman to referring me into Hoffman. Initially, I just apply for being an intern but then they requested to change me into a perm. Then met a bunch of nice and smart colleagues... to meeting new comers who would like to refer me to Sinclair, all these steps and blessings are not based on my ability but all IN GOD.

I realised I didn't thank God enough, never doing that enough. I am too good at focusing on the bad and forgetting about the guidances all along the way. But one thing remains, He never stop loving me and guiding me even I chose to leave him behind me and walk with my own intelligence (which I don't have). He didn't give me up and leave me alone when I did something sinful again and again - He is always the one who has been waiting for me to return and lift up my sins.

Fatherpapa, in the past 6 months spending in Hong Kong, I know that I didn't put you in my first place despite the time when I desperately need you in my life. Thanks for not leaving me and waiting me to retune like the little son.

It's time. It's time to prioritise my life. To put yo beyond me and the world behind me. I love this kellychan, who loves you so much that would follow your path and not let my own judgements to lead me. God I need you to help me to walk in your way and not to let the devil leads me.

I determine to life myself to you again. To live for you. In workplace and wherever I am. Forever and ever, Amen.

Mon 12 Feb 11:56