I changed.

I am currently sitting on the sofa in the living room while Patrick is gaming (of course) and two pairs of couples are gathering in the same space right now.

I realised I changed and it didn't take as much time as I thought I would need. I am much clearer of what I want and what I need. Yet, I am still figuring the way out to practice it in real life and in day to day life. I would say it's an awakening moment - to suddenly realised where am I as a third person in a few circumstances. Like for work and in relationship. I found so relieved once I realised how suppressed I was.

In love life, I would really wanna take a break to figure out what I appreciate and the ideal way of interaction with my partner. "Love is a lot of things". I used to simplified this area as I thought it would be the best and beneficial way in handling relationship. Yet, it's inescapable that we still need to consider a lot of things before getting into a relationship. Being too considerate might kill yourselves unexpectedly and slowly, until the day you are brave enough to embrace what's actually happening between you two.

"I hope/need my partner to share common interests with me. So we can be each others' accompany when doing something we are passionate at. I need him to understand and connect with my spiritually. I treasure mind connection. That "click" actually matters to me in many aspects, for instance to appreciate artworks or going to museum together, enjoy reading and will recommend each other recent favourites from time to time, sentimental yet will remind each other God should be the one who we look up to in life, respect the time and space each other need, and to explore the world together by not limiting oneself."

I am glad I can finally mention some cliche yet important elements through my mouth. It's actually hard for me but I am proud that I can finally figure it out and say it out. 

London

Well, I have never expected that I will fall in love with London in any sense.

In the past two weeks, I have experienced the love from fellowship and God, which removed the worries and uncomfortable feelings I had before.

All the deep talks and quality time as well as the exhibition visits and the musical night, everything is fabulous. I would say I'm like a kid getting into the adult world while so many things have caught my eyeballs.

London has bought me a lot of reflection and realisation and I have never expected and seen them coming. My mind and my heart are struggling and shaking when I was processing and digesting all these thoughts and facts. Yet, there must be some reasons for God to answer Ivy's prayers and thus I were invited to London and then all these things happened in such a short period of time.

... (tbc)

"In relations with people, as in art, if you always stick to style, manners, and what will work, and you're never caught off guard, then some beautiful experiences never happen." - Helen Frankenthaler