我是一個會在愛情路上不斷否定自己的人：想得太多、給伴侶加太多麻煩、不時在重要一刻逃避…
但神就是清楚祂所造的兒女，讓我遇到從沒碰過如此有耐性的人，拒絕我一而再再而三的分手或放棄的建議。
×××
最近我發現了自己好多又大又小的洞，又一而再再而三地被提醒自己是是他也是你和我的罪人，幸好男朋友同時提醒了我神無盡的愛，若不，我會一路崩潰並不能接受自己下去。
好好學習愛吧，這是一生的功課，眼前已有實踐愛的對象，記住要好好珍惜。
Sun 8 Oct 21:10
2017年10月8日 星期日
2017年10月7日 星期六
A
Still, I feel like this is a dream, happening in real life.
To be honest, I still can't understand why there's a man on earth feel lucky to meet me and have me in his life. From time to time, I wonder, what can I provide to my boyfriend? Religious? Maybe. In real life? I am not sure. I mean, I do know there are smth good inside me but smth bad at the same time. But he, really does embrace me so far... How ridiculous is it? Like the real, 100% me. The talkative side, the overthinking side, the over-stressful side, the mean side. He spends his time on me, on me.
Tbh I am kinda scared about the feeling of 'seems like dreaming' cos I always think like bad thing will come right after that... That's why I am used to not to have any expectations but more communication instead.
I think a lot, probably too much for a human. I digest a lot, at the same time share smth not really simple - a bit complicated.
***
Written in June, a few days after we got into relationship :p
To be honest, I still can't understand why there's a man on earth feel lucky to meet me and have me in his life. From time to time, I wonder, what can I provide to my boyfriend? Religious? Maybe. In real life? I am not sure. I mean, I do know there are smth good inside me but smth bad at the same time. But he, really does embrace me so far... How ridiculous is it? Like the real, 100% me. The talkative side, the overthinking side, the over-stressful side, the mean side. He spends his time on me, on me.
Tbh I am kinda scared about the feeling of 'seems like dreaming' cos I always think like bad thing will come right after that... That's why I am used to not to have any expectations but more communication instead.
I think a lot, probably too much for a human. I digest a lot, at the same time share smth not really simple - a bit complicated.
***
Written in June, a few days after we got into relationship :p
2017年10月5日 星期四
Back again / Oct 6
I come back when I feel like coming back.
I have to admit that there're a few times I would like to push myself to write something here to speed up my pace to grow or to understand something faster to catch up my own schedule. But then, till now, I realised that there are lot of things especially - growth, we have no ability to control. The more we interrupt the progress, the longer we will take. And I believe that's a smart lesson to have in our life time to figure out the important of "hands off" in some situations but not to push ourselves to do more than we should do :) I count all these as a smart act in life as well.
I came back to Hong Kong on the 4th Aug and started working on 7th Aug. So tomorrow will be my 2nd month anniversary of my job. To be honest, I didn't give myself enough of time to immerse in the city before I started working, so I basically just let myself to get used to different situations and different groups along the way. And when I looked back recently, I think I have done a pretty good job by changing the way I think and the way I set my goals to myself - to change the unreachable goals and replaced it by a more achievable one, which at the same time allowing myself to breathe but not to rush till the end (tho there's no end tbh).
Adult life just hit me with no notice before head. Recall the last two months in spent in Nottingham or the Europe, I remember I did try to give myself some mental preparation about stepping into the society which I could foresee lots of challenges and temptations. However, this made me realised that no matter how hard we tried to prepare for something, it would not be enough or would be imperfect. It may even be useless. One lesson I learnt from it is that we should always lift our worries and burdens to our God and hands off. This is a matter a faith I guess. And like Adrian always said, it doesn't help to think too much or to guess what will happen too much at the moment as we are going to encounter that anyways. So why should we put all these in front of ourselves before the things actually hit us so hard?
Oh my, I can't tell how huge this man is to be the gift from God in my life. He changes how I think and make me into a better person. :)
***
The devotion this morning doesn't really hit me that hard, but to inspire me to realise what's the lesson given by God in these few months or even this year - to be patient.
No matter in getting used to the working life, the whole long distance relationship period, to do better in each tasks in work place, etc. I just realised how much patience I need to get through all these and to get all this done. Oh wait, I have to remind myself I should always have a mindset that things will just keep rolling, there's no 'done' in the coming days and years.
"When you are tired, learn to rest but not to quit" - such a quote that appear in the middle of my hard time last month to keep me going. God always remember us and know what we are going through. He knows. Be still and know my dear.
Oct 6 13:26 at home, didn't go to work
I have to admit that there're a few times I would like to push myself to write something here to speed up my pace to grow or to understand something faster to catch up my own schedule. But then, till now, I realised that there are lot of things especially - growth, we have no ability to control. The more we interrupt the progress, the longer we will take. And I believe that's a smart lesson to have in our life time to figure out the important of "hands off" in some situations but not to push ourselves to do more than we should do :) I count all these as a smart act in life as well.
I came back to Hong Kong on the 4th Aug and started working on 7th Aug. So tomorrow will be my 2nd month anniversary of my job. To be honest, I didn't give myself enough of time to immerse in the city before I started working, so I basically just let myself to get used to different situations and different groups along the way. And when I looked back recently, I think I have done a pretty good job by changing the way I think and the way I set my goals to myself - to change the unreachable goals and replaced it by a more achievable one, which at the same time allowing myself to breathe but not to rush till the end (tho there's no end tbh).
Adult life just hit me with no notice before head. Recall the last two months in spent in Nottingham or the Europe, I remember I did try to give myself some mental preparation about stepping into the society which I could foresee lots of challenges and temptations. However, this made me realised that no matter how hard we tried to prepare for something, it would not be enough or would be imperfect. It may even be useless. One lesson I learnt from it is that we should always lift our worries and burdens to our God and hands off. This is a matter a faith I guess. And like Adrian always said, it doesn't help to think too much or to guess what will happen too much at the moment as we are going to encounter that anyways. So why should we put all these in front of ourselves before the things actually hit us so hard?
Oh my, I can't tell how huge this man is to be the gift from God in my life. He changes how I think and make me into a better person. :)
***
The devotion this morning doesn't really hit me that hard, but to inspire me to realise what's the lesson given by God in these few months or even this year - to be patient.
No matter in getting used to the working life, the whole long distance relationship period, to do better in each tasks in work place, etc. I just realised how much patience I need to get through all these and to get all this done. Oh wait, I have to remind myself I should always have a mindset that things will just keep rolling, there's no 'done' in the coming days and years.
"When you are tired, learn to rest but not to quit" - such a quote that appear in the middle of my hard time last month to keep me going. God always remember us and know what we are going through. He knows. Be still and know my dear.
Oct 6 13:26 at home, didn't go to work
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)