In the past three months and the coming days, they are all practice for me. A transition and practice.

Hey there, this is the last week of my 1st semester in Nott

Time flies and here's the last week of my first semester in uk. I am now preparing for my French oral exam tmr morning but I keep procrastinating lol

Can't believe that I have been cooking and taking care of myself for three months already. It feels like it becomes part of my life and I can manage it quite well already. Every beginning is the hardest and I believe that period is going away. I am getting into another stage of my life here in uk. I can't really predict what's going to happen next semester but I really hope that I can blend in quite well and find my sense of belonging in UoN.

To be honest, things and experiences I learnt here are quite out of my expectation. I mean, I do foresee that I am going to learn some specific things like taking care of myself and arranging my own schedule, something like that. But the more I observe and experience, I found there are actually so much to learn and to digest what I have observed. This is a love-hate feelings because I feel like I am an outsider somehow.

I have just finished my first media presentation here and I can surely tell that I can work much much better than that but seriously the culture problems are really a problem for an asian in uk. People here don't work in the way I have been working on in the past 20 years. I am trying to understand and find out what's the differences but I can't tell it in words. The feelings and atmospheres are just so different from ours.

For my life here, I really do have enough space to work on my own thing, think and talk to myself regularly. Sometimes, it's a bit too much (haha). I go to gym and fencing regularly. I have a quite stable life and church life as well. But I feel like there's something missing. I am not sure what is it but I am trying to figure it out as well. Keep exploring what I can do here to expand myself and gain more insights since living here in uk really need self-motivation. People here and the environment can easily make me feel too chill and relax, then a day gone by. I don't really want my days here live in this way. At least, I think I need a direction to work on. Like a more specific one. Either a personal project that I can keep working on or a part-time job that I can learn more life experiences.

And yea, just a random chitchat because I don't want to work on my French oral exam... ttyl X

It's one of those days

My heart whispered "I don't want to leave"

Every night, when I am spending time alone, my heart keep whispering
"I don't want to leave, I love my home"
Definitely, I have never predicted that I will take that much time to overcome it and to prepare myself.
I started to miss my parents, brother, bedroom...

Counting down

In the past few weeks, I am not dare to sit down and have my own time alone.
Probably because deep inside my heart, I know there are thousand of things I have to face and process (which I don't have the courage and energy to do so.)
I stop my devotion weeks ago, only have one or two connections with God every week.
It makes me feel weak, but I believe it's a way for me to digest my issues with 'quietness'. Tho I may not suggest my friends to do so if they encounter similar things as I am facing lol

Time flies much much faster than I expect and I am leaving in ten days.
There are still thousand of things I have to deal with and settle down.
However, I haven't given myself the 'me-time' yet since three weeks ago.
It should be the longest 'escaping time' I have ever given to myself or allowed myself to do so.
But I feel like I am mature enough to handle these messy feelings in this way after went through so many challenges.

And here I am, sitting down unexpectedly. Take my macbook out and start typing my random thoughts again.
Recently, temptation flooded my life. I am weak but God keep talking to me no matter how cool I am. I know I don't even want to talk to God as I feel like I can't do it effortlessly. I need some help indeed.

However,
no worries friends. I am fighting a hard battle with myself every day. I know I can win this battle by relying on Him and shouting His name. Amen.

TP2015

God knows us so well that He will talk to us in different ways depend on our personalities. Open my heart. Let me be a daughter who can be more like you.

1. Family always always comes first. 

2. Think positive

3. Be yourself

There's nothing to rush

突然有這個想法，

又或是一天一天累積下來的，

年齡到了 不代表要有個伴侶。

這個追求 開始定下來了。

我的意思是，

there's nothing to rush