I changed.

I am currently sitting on the sofa in the living room while Patrick is gaming (of course) and two pairs of couples are gathering in the same space right now.

I realised I changed and it didn't take as much time as I thought I would need. I am much clearer of what I want and what I need. Yet, I am still figuring the way out to practice it in real life and in day to day life. I would say it's an awakening moment - to suddenly realised where am I as a third person in a few circumstances. Like for work and in relationship. I found so relieved once I realised how suppressed I was.

In love life, I would really wanna take a break to figure out what I appreciate and the ideal way of interaction with my partner. "Love is a lot of things". I used to simplified this area as I thought it would be the best and beneficial way in handling relationship. Yet, it's inescapable that we still need to consider a lot of things before getting into a relationship. Being too considerate might kill yourselves unexpectedly and slowly, until the day you are brave enough to embrace what's actually happening between you two.

"I hope/need my partner to share common interests with me. So we can be each others' accompany when doing something we are passionate at. I need him to understand and connect with my spiritually. I treasure mind connection. That "click" actually matters to me in many aspects, for instance to appreciate artworks or going to museum together, enjoy reading and will recommend each other recent favourites from time to time, sentimental yet will remind each other God should be the one who we look up to in life, respect the time and space each other need, and to explore the world together by not limiting oneself."

I am glad I can finally mention some cliche yet important elements through my mouth. It's actually hard for me but I am proud that I can finally figure it out and say it out.