About how my parents empowered me

Mon 25 Mar 00:09

Recently, I have been fighting with my inner-self from time to time. I have not yet figured out the whole picture yet, I know it's about decision in life and faith in God. 

Not long ago, I have decided (not sure whether God allow so) to change my job and move to U.K. when Holam starts his job in July. Basically, after two years of long distance relationship, I am quite sure this step should be done now or later since we both need to prepare for what's coming to us - different working hours. This will future affect the way and time we communicate and "work this relationship out". 

I have been wondering whether this decision is in God's favour because I found myself is the one driving the one decision and the whole progress instead of praying to God, leaving things in God's hands. I feel like I am pushing God to go after me instead of me humbling myself in front of Him and wait for his responses. I feel bad about this. However, I keep pushing myself forward as I can hear the clock is ticking. I am using my own ability and way to manage the whole thing. 

I am not humble nor wise. I know I need to figure this out. 

However, I really want to write this down - how my parents have been supporting me endlessly throughout these months, staying besides me when I am lost and giving me space to live my life out (which is frightening in some sense). I know they must be praying for me every day and night, hoping God to guide me through all of these hardships and the battle with my own self. 

They are the first gift in my life. They love, they sacrifice, they let go. They keep learning how to be a good parents while showing me the best example to be a servant in God. They are not well-known businessman or businesswoman, nor a person with "big-name". However, they are living their lives fullness in a simple and significant way, while serving God with their gifts and talents from God. As we keep growing, we might gradually figure out how hard it is to live out a life in the simplest way without being affected with things we encountered in life. 

I obviously don't know what's ahead of me. But my parents are people who makes me believe in myself and God. They are one of the reasons why I work so hard for myself because I want myself to be happy and glorify God, in order to make them feel proud and happy. As simple as that. 

Hey ccl, don't lose your focus. Humble yourself in front of God, but not in front of people first. When you know how to be humble in God, you will certainly be humbled in the crowd and the society. God always prepare the best for his daughters who leave things in His hand and take the leap of faith with Him. 

Amen. 

Mon 25 Mar 00:26